I was rooting for him! The greatest gift to Germany, aka the tanned piece of beef jerky known as David Hasselhoff, was the first to go on DWTS last night. It wasn't the fact that David was probably drunk during his dance, it wasn't the fact that he smelled the alcohol in his partner's hair and tried to drink it, it was YOUR FAULT! Yes you America, you failed to vote for The Hoff and caused me to never witness his sloppy drunken dances again. DAMN YOU AMERICA!